Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Eliza Wins Bronze...A Moment in Time by Angie

Eliza Wins Bronze
By Angie
I arrive in my seat just as the speaker starts talking, “Eliza McCartney!” I wriggled excitedly. Beep! Goes the speaker. Eliza runs forward with glee. Everyone is silent. Eliza flings through the air. As she comes near me I smell the black paste on her hands. Her hair flies everywhere. She grins happily in the air. She does a perfected jump into the sky. My eyes pop out! She flips over the bar. She falls down with a thump onto an inflatable mattress. The crowd goes wild! I join in the cheering. I hope I can get her autograph. Soon they announce the winners. “ In third place we have… Eliza McCartney!” “Yay!” I shout. I wonder if she will get Silver or Gold next time?


  1. Wow Angie! Great moment in time about Eliza McCartney. I liked how you added some adverbs to your writing to make it interesting. Excellent story Angie and keep up the awesome work!

  2. Well done Angie! Awesome moment in time about Eliza McCartney the pole vaulter. When I read it, it felt like it was almost real. Fanstatic story and keep up the excellent work!!